When I was young, I never wanted to be a doctor, or a teacher, or any of those other goals that most kids have. My dreams were pretty simple. Get married. Buy a house in the town where I grew up. Have a bunch of kids. Send them to the small Christian school I went to. Every sunday after church, have big sunday with my parents and siblings. These were and still are my dreams. Yes, there are a few big ones I can cross of the list. I’m married, I have two kids (so far), but there are others that I have been waiting and praying for. Sometimes I feel hopeless, because I don’t know if or when they will happen.
A few months ago I came across this quote on Facebook, and right away I knew I had to share it. I didn’t write it, but it is certainly something I need to pray every day.
Sometimes it’s so hard to imagine that God has something better planned for me, than I could plan for myself. To be quite honest, there are days that I question why God had to take me away from my parents, and brothers and sisters. Why I had to lose friends I had at home, and not make many friends here. Why every single part of my life has to be more difficult than it was “supposed” to be, because I live here. Sometimes when I look from my own point of view, it’s really easy to think, Lord, how is this plan possibly better than the comfortable life I had planned in America?
There are moments, when I lose myself in sadness. Moments when I ask God why He had to bring me here. Moments when the loneliness I feel, seems too much to bear. It’s always at those times, that God reminds me, I was never supposed to be doing it on my own. I wouldn’t feel so lonely, if I were walking beside Him.
There are things in my life that I wish I could change. Things I wish I could go back and undo, but I can’t, and for good reason. They have all been a part of God’s plan. Yes, I wish parts of my life were different, but if they were, there is a lot of great things I would miss out on.
In my life, I have seen God at work in the worst of situations. I have seen Him change hearts and lives of the hopeless. People have been touched and helped, as a result of God’s plans for me. Plans that in the end, are so much better than any I could have made.
All I can see is the here and now, but He can see the big picture. I don’t know what my future holds. I don’t know where He will bring me, or how He will use me. All I know is that I have to trust that His plans for my life, are bigger, and better, than my dreams, and that He will be with me every step of the way!